As it is for many people, my working life was all consuming for a long time, and left little time for volunteering. It had been bothering me for a long time though, in that low level kind of way, that niggling feeling that something about the way I was living my life wasn’t right for me, that something was missing. At that time I wasn’t aware of the concept of values, and in hindsight I can see that my work wasn’t satisfying my core values and that is what was leaving me feeling dissatisfied. I ignored this for a awhile, but eventually I was forced to acknowledge it and in 2004 I decided it was time to investigate working in the charitable sector.
The internet is a wonderful thing, as it can expand our thinking on so many levels just through the results of a google search. In my case that was ‘working in the charitable sector’. Various charities in the UK came up, as did Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO). When I saw the site, I knew that was what I was going to do.
I applied in October 2004, was accepted by the end of the year, and left from my job as Sales Operations Manager for Carnival Cruise Lines in April 2005. Having sold my house and most of my possessions, by June I was on a plane to India. So from not volunteering at all, I was now a full time volunteer in India for a 2 year contract.
I worked for the Centre for Youth and Social Development in Bhubanswar in Orissa as a Communications Advisor, and loved it. It was challenging on so many levels – adapting to the weather, the food, the accommodation, a new culture, learning a different language, a massively different sector of work, and hugely different ways of working, office politics, hierarchy, and social life.
It’s not possible to explain in a few words what I got out of that experience. I learned so much about another country and culture, built some wonderful relationships, had some excellent adventures, and experienced a great sense of achievement over and over again as I learned how to survive and then thrive in this new world.
I left with an overwhelming feeling that I had gained so much more from 2 years in India than I had given.
I could not go back to corporate life now. Luckily an opportunity arose to set up a new international volunteering programme funded by DFID, and this allowed me to support less advantaged young people to gain a similar kind of life changing experience that I had had doing VSO. It was fantastic to hear the Platform2 volunteers talk about what they had learned, and how much the experience had changed them and their perceptions of themselves and the world when they returned.
I have been quite itinerant in my life, moving house, changing cities, moving to different countries, and this has made local volunteering a bit challenging. When I made the choice in 2011 to come back to Bedford to settle, I felt I now could commit to some regular volunteering. I applied to be a listening volunteers for Bedford Samaritans and started the training over 8 consecutive Saturdays, in May 2012.
One of the things I love about volunteering is the people I have met. In our day to day lives, we tend to mix with people who live in the same areas, work in the same place, have the same hobbies, are mostly the same age. But when you volunteer, you meet all kinds of people you might not normally ever connect with. I have met some wonderful people through Samaritans, and I find the work to be very rewarding. It sounds odd to say that I enjoy listening to people who are in distress and despair, but I have heard so many Samaritans say the same thing. The most important thing I get from doing it, is a sense of perspective. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and lose sight of the good things about it, the things we take for granted, and the things we are lucky enough to have in our lives which others can only dream of. I always leave a shift feeling grateful for my life, and for the people in it and my relationships with them.
My personal experience of volunteering and what I have learned from other volunteers is that it enriches our lives enormously. It might contribute to society, but it also contributes to us personally, giving us a sense of purpose, of connection with other people, of self worth, and perspective.
It’s for these reasons that getting involved in things bigger than yourself, volunteering, getting involved in community activities, are all great contributors to your long term happiness.
And it’s because of my feeling about volunteering that I was touched to be the recipient of the Silver Heart Award at the Bedfordshire Business Women Awards last week. The award, sponsored by Heart FM, is given to someone who may volunteer in her spare time or fundraise for charity, and recognises dedication and commitment and rewards them for their selfless attitude and kind heart.
Find out more about volunteering with Samaritans here. Or get in touch with Voluntary Works, a consortium of local organisations working to promote and support the voluntary and community sector in Bedfordshire.
Even now when I say that I feel like a bit of a fake. It seems to me that there’s some unsaid, definition of a runner, and somehow I don’t match up. I hardly look like a wippet, and believe me I don’t run like one either. However, a guy called John Bingham summed it up nicely when he said – ‘If you run, you are a runner.’
My running history began in 2003 when I ran my first half marathon, the Great North Run (GNR), with my Dad. I was 37 and my Dad was 66.
He beat me.
Life Lesson #1 – Don’t worry about what others are doing or seemingly achieving. It’s only important to challenge yourself.
I had trained for the race but by the end, I was utterly finished. All I could think about was who would contemplate the complete madness of a full marathon? That involved doing that whole thing all over again –and at the time that seemed like an impossibility.
I did get over the pain though and I entered again in 2004 and then a third time in 2008.
That last GNR was SLOW and it hurt like hell. Life Lesson #2 – No matter how many mistakes you make, or how slow your progress, you are way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
In 2008, I moved to India for a couple of years, which rather limited my running – it’s too hot, there are no pavements, and too many people staring at me in my lycra! Actually this was a bit of an excuse and reveals Life Lesson #3 – don’t be stopped by not getting started. Often the most difficult step in any endeavour is to actually make a start.
So at the start of 2011, while living with my sister in Brisbane I trained for the Twilight half. This one felt better, easier, less utterly exhausting that the previous 3 attempts.
The fact that it wasn’t quite so exhausting and my training that year to become a life coach, inspired me to up my game. I wanted to challenge myself in various areas of my life and to get out my comfort zone with some big goals and a marathon seemed just about daunting enough!
Life Lesson #4 helped big time at this stage – Set yourself a goal and break it down into smaller chunks.
Thinking about running 26.2 miles is overwhelming. By breaking it down into smaller goals, it becomes more achievable. If you can run 13 miles, it’s likely that 15 is possible, if you can run 15 then 18 is possible, and so on. And then you reach a point at about 19 or 20 miles when you start to believe you might actually be able to do a marathon.
Up to this point, I had always run alone. It hadn’t occurred to me to join a running club. That was for runners and I wasn’t a runner. However, I realised I needed extra motivation and support so I joined Bedford Harriers. Life Lesson #5 – Connecting with people, especially through common interests, helps to inspire and motivate us to achieve more.
In March, the Oakley 20 mile race which was part of my training plan, was cancelled due to snow. My delightfully mad friend Sarah thought it would be a great idea to go to Grafham Water instead and go round it not once, but twice which we did, through deep snow and slush, with a bit of wind thrown in for good measure.
Life lessons #6 – hang out with people who get you out of your comfort zone and push you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do in your life and to achieve more than you would on your own – it keeps it interesting and rewarding.
Grafham Water was a beautiful run that day, and Life Lesson #7 is to be present in the moment and aware of your senses. It’s easy to be so much inside your head that you lose the chance to enjoy what is actually in front of you.
For as much time as I remember to, as the thoughts do take over, I focus on enjoying the sights, sounds, smells around me and on how my body feels, and how the wind feels on my skin. And I think to myself – this is it, there is nothing else apart from now, and it’s perfect.
I’ve done a lot of challenging and exciting things in my life, and the marathon is probably my favourite. I loved every minute of it until I stopped and completed seized up. So once you’ve done a marathon, what’s next? Life Lesson #8 – Don’t get stuck in a rut, change things, keep things interesting and challenging.
This year, my friend Kim and I wanted a challenge to keep us running long distances regularly rather than training for a peak and then lessening off. The ‘12 in 12’ challenge has given up that. 12 half marathons in 12 months, with a cheeky sub challenge to do 3 in 3 weeks at some point.
I have now completed 11, and our finale is on 16th November at St Neots. From doing 3 halves in 5 years, I have progressed to managing 3 in 3 consecutive Sundays – which I did in September with Northampton, Richmond and Ealing.
Life lesson #9 is an important one – celebrate your successes. I suspect we spend more time thinking about the things which didn’t go so well, rather than cheerleading ourselves for our achievements. Thankfully after so much practice, I am no longer good for the nothing after a half marathon, and can now function pretty well, so Kim and I will be having a good lunch and a celebratory drink or several on Sunday 16th November.
Half marathons are run of the mill for me now – a phrase that I would not have expected to say in 2003 after being beaten by my 66 year old Dad in my first half marathon. And I have now also run a marathon, something which I used to strongly believe was impossible for me.
I leave you with Life Lesson#10 – Don’t listen to the voice in your head which is saying you can’t – it’s a liar.
Kim and I are using our challenge to raise funds for Bedford Samaritans who support people in distress and despair and have a page on Virgin Money Giving for people to donate to support us. We also have our 12 in 12 facebook page if you’d like to follow our finale.
Happy memories from our childhood can be really powerful. They take you back to a time when you experienced a strong positive emotion. And this is what a ceilidh does for me. I grew up in Lanark, in Scotland, and every year my family went for a weekend with my Dad’s sister and their cousins, and all their children. We stayed in a place called Otterburn Hall which is in the North East. For us kids, it was a magical place. It was a big old pile in the country with peacocks in the garden, a boating lake, a croquet lawn, and most importantly a big dance floor and on the Saturday night there was always a ceilidh.
I loved it. Having music from a live band, with one of the band members calling the instructions for each dance, made it exciting and dynamic. Everyone joined in, young and old, and people would dance with anyone and everyone. For some reason, the music and the dancing breaks down the usual British reserve and people who don’t know each other will be laughing and joking with each other while they bumbled around the dance floor with enthusiasm, if not skill.
I often say that ceilidhs tick a lot of the happiness generating boxes – you are with people, in fact touching them by holding hands or getting into a dancing hold; you get a lot of exercise; there’s lively music; you are learning; and there’s invariably a lot of laughing as people head off in the wrong direction after being swung round and round a few times.
There’s a range of dances, some for couples, but mostly they are for groups of 6 or 8 people. The steps and movements aren’t complicated and are repeated so you’ll get the hang of it quickly. The caller is always there to remind you what to do, and others in the group will put you right.
I loved it as a child and I love it now – the exuberance of the dancing is a thing of beauty!
Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,”Hi”
You’d better slow down.
Don’t dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift…..
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower